You might keep a little horse manure under yer pillow for good luck,

but that don't make soy milk a legitimate source'a protein.

Hoppin' in the sack with a stranger's kinda like mixin' sorghum with boot leather,

The boot leather's just fine, but the sorghum'll steal the change off yer dresser and run off with yer Nascar commemorative plates.

Give a mouse a cookie and he might nibble on yer toe a little,

give a mouse yer toe and he'll take a steamin' dump in yer Wheatabix.

I reckon you can eat yer flapjacks with a side'a pepper jelly,

but that don't mean a liliputian's gonna fix yer septic tank.

You can teach a ring-tailed lemur how to play Sudoku,

but that don't mean Howard Hughes'll whirl you around in the Spruce Goose.

You can recite poetry to a woodpecker to lull'im to sleep,

but don't think that'll guarantee you a seat on British Parliament.

You can skin a jackrabbit with a buzzard's beak if you like,

but that don't mean yer gonna beat Rebecca Lobo in a game'a horse.

You can ladle motor oil down a prairie dog's throat all you want,

that don't mean the Dairy Queen's gonnna honor yer expired coupons.

You can horse whip a billy goat with a lizard's tail all you want,

that don't mean a large-mouth bass'll do yer taxes for free.

You can fool a turkey into sellin' you its gizzard,

that don't mean you ain't gonna break yer tooth on a blowpop when you ride a rollercoaster.

You can shave your face with a tater peeler,

but that don't mean yer wristwatch'll tell the future.

You can squeeze Jello between yer toes all you want,

that don't mean leap year's gonna get here any quicker.

You can tangle with a rattlesnake 'til yer blue in the face,

that don't mean you can squeeze into yer old coveralls when reunion time rolls around.

You can beat a grizzly bear at a game of horseshoes,

but that don't mean it'll grant you three wishes for pullin' a thorn out of its paw.

You can feed a bobcat all the chili you want,

but that don't mean it's gonna crap diamonds.

You can square dance on a hot griddle 'till the cows come home,

but that don't mean yer coon hound'll hop in the hot-tub with ya.

You can paint yer motor boat with a leopard's tongue,

but that don't mean you can use yer cowboy hat as a sundial.